Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I'm gonna be a published artist!!!
my art is going to be published in an art magazine. seen by people Australia wide
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Art tips.
1. take art lessons: both actual classes and from books, dvds, whatever you can get
2. practice: find pictures that capture your interest and copy them
3. promote yourself shamelessly on the internet: blogs, forums, places like myspace and facebook and create your own website.
4. create your own business cards with your site details, email address and put a good picture of your best artwork on it and give them to people at the slightest hint of interest in art. however remember that they have to show some interest or your card will end up in the bin.
2. practice: find pictures that capture your interest and copy them
3. promote yourself shamelessly on the internet: blogs, forums, places like myspace and facebook and create your own website.
4. create your own business cards with your site details, email address and put a good picture of your best artwork on it and give them to people at the slightest hint of interest in art. however remember that they have to show some interest or your card will end up in the bin.
40 things you should have learnt by now
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18.Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks back.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
38. Your friends love you anyway.
39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
40. Karma is the be all and end all - need I say anymore!
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18.Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks back.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
38. Your friends love you anyway.
39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
40. Karma is the be all and end all - need I say anymore!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
our choices of boyfriends
Why do we make such choices?
my exboyfriend sat around the house watching movies all day refused to get a job, showed no affection except when he wanted intimate relations and always had to have his own way. when my dad died (I was very close to my dad) he complained that I was making HIM uncomfortable and after 2 days when I wasn't acting like nothing had happened he threw a dvd at me told me to pull myself together, he wanted intimate relations and after saying a lot of other cruel stuff to me he stormed off to a friends place for the night.
where are all the decent kind compassionate caring men in the world???
my exboyfriend sat around the house watching movies all day refused to get a job, showed no affection except when he wanted intimate relations and always had to have his own way. when my dad died (I was very close to my dad) he complained that I was making HIM uncomfortable and after 2 days when I wasn't acting like nothing had happened he threw a dvd at me told me to pull myself together, he wanted intimate relations and after saying a lot of other cruel stuff to me he stormed off to a friends place for the night.
where are all the decent kind compassionate caring men in the world???
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Society
I think the saddest thing is that people think they have to change who they are in order to be accepted. women and girls think they have to act a certain way, look a certain way, have breast enlargements, wear make up or have plastic surgery in order for males to like them.
on the male side, there is this male macho thing where guys think that if don't they act tough all the time then they will be considered less of a man.
People should be able to be who they are.
personally I tell guys that give me advice on how I need to act or what I need to do to my body in order for them to be interested in me to go screw themselves because with that attitude no one will do it for them. rude I know but guys like that annoy me.
and guys, it's ok to show affection, tenderness or emotion generally. it doesn't make less of a man it makes you more of one and it's a real hit with the ladies lol.
on the male side, there is this male macho thing where guys think that if don't they act tough all the time then they will be considered less of a man.
People should be able to be who they are.
personally I tell guys that give me advice on how I need to act or what I need to do to my body in order for them to be interested in me to go screw themselves because with that attitude no one will do it for them. rude I know but guys like that annoy me.
and guys, it's ok to show affection, tenderness or emotion generally. it doesn't make less of a man it makes you more of one and it's a real hit with the ladies lol.
Horses
This is nothing about art but the rights of animals is something I feel strongly about.
I was watching the morning news and there was a report on a horse race and after the race a horse who had a ankle fracture had to be put down. now I understand the process one has to go through to heal the fractures or breaks of horse legs but what really bugs me is that people will go to the ends of the earth and try everything (no matter how unlikely it is to work) to save a human life, nothing is considered too hard however the horse is put down for an injury to it's leg.
I belive in the sancity of all life and that if it is possible to save a life (human or animal) then it should be saved.
ok, I'm off my soapbox now lol the horse thing just really bugs me.
I was watching the morning news and there was a report on a horse race and after the race a horse who had a ankle fracture had to be put down. now I understand the process one has to go through to heal the fractures or breaks of horse legs but what really bugs me is that people will go to the ends of the earth and try everything (no matter how unlikely it is to work) to save a human life, nothing is considered too hard however the horse is put down for an injury to it's leg.
I belive in the sancity of all life and that if it is possible to save a life (human or animal) then it should be saved.
ok, I'm off my soapbox now lol the horse thing just really bugs me.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Does skill matter?
Does skill in art matter? or is it better to throw a couple of things at each other and think up a very angst ridden story for it? I was reading this rant on how to be a sucessful artist and although it's very cynical it also contains quite a lot of truth in it.
HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL ARTIST Step One: Become an abstractionist. Art school isn't about expression. It isn't about self-exploration. You will have to accept that art schools exist to advance an agenda. That agenda? Abstract Expressionism. Abstract Expressionism is now your style of choice. Congratulations. You are clearly a genius. It's time to practice your art. Buy lots of canvas, reams and reams of canvas, and lay it flat against the floor of your studio. Buy buckets of house paint, preferably clashing colors. Whip it around the canvas. Do it with your eyes closed, because that's obviously the best way. Drink Jim Beam while you paint. Stomp around the canvas in your fashionable, fashionable boots. Strip bare-ass naked, roll around in the paint. Nauseate yourself on the vapors, and spit up on your masterpiece-in-progress. So pretty. When you've finished, give it a title. Pick something nonsensical. Gloomy emotions are good. "Envy." "Inhumanity." "Despair." Gloomy equals deep. If you can't be interesting, being depressed is the next best thing, isn't it? I don't give a crap about how you feel, but someone else just might. You never know. Repeat this process several times a week, until you can finish an entire bottle of booze and an entire painting in a single night. You are now an abstract artist. This is an important step. I'll bet you knew that. So smart. "Kitsch" and "Greenburgian" are now your two favorite words. Anything that is not Abstract is Kitsch, and anything that is Abstract is Greenburgian. Memorize this. Survey any painting, sculpture or installation with a recognizable depiction of a person, place, or thing with detached condescension and poorly-masked disgust. These people have no imagination. By learning to draw before attempting fine art, they have interrupted the process of pure creation. They do not deserve your respect. They are Kitsch. Greenburgian Abstractionists are your soul brothers. Seek them out, and win their friendship by making snide remarks about the stupidity of the public, the annoyance of art drawn from life, and the ignorance of artists who are foolish enough to learn to depict the human form. Speak of Jackson Pollack, Willem DeKooning and Mark Rothko with worshipful tears glistening in your upturned eyes, taking frequent breaks to compose yourself in between bursts of praise. When finished, make rueful remarks about how the Abstractionist movement was eventually "ruined." If asked to elaborate, look disbelievingly at your audience, and ask them if they've been in a gallery recently. Describe such art as "labored," "insincere," and any other subjective adjectives you can think of. You are now an insufferably haughty abstract artist Step Three: Cultivate an image. To survive art school, you will need a persona. No one gives a good God damn about how you paint, because everything you make looks fucking exactly like everything else all the other students there do. Will you be a Bad Boy? A Beatnik? An Art Punk? Decide. Choose something rare in the social circles you frequent, for the sake of "originality." Keep drinking. Develop a nutty, crazy, sociopathic personality. (The one you have now isn't good enough. I promise you that.) Be rude, sexist, eco-terroristic, clinically depressed, reckless. The sky's the limit, children. One restraint: try not to be prejudiced. Feel free to despise the opposite sex, but racism is gauche. It went out with Action Painting. You will look dated. And no, Jews don't count. Lucky you. If you happen to be female, take every opportunity to strip naked and photograph yourself in erotic, suggestive positions and situations. Claim you do it in the name of "empowerment." Claim it has nothing to do with your desperate need for attention. Claim the chocolate syrup and cherries dripping from your shaven genitals in the spread beaver shot are metaphors. Claim the nipple clamps are "decontextualized." Claim you are not another embarassment to the gender with nothing unique to say, appealling to the lowest common denominator. You're not a porn star, sweetheart. You're an artist. You're still drinking, aren't you? Clearly. Have another. Turn your new personality on in the presence of art dealers, art buyers, school alumni, faculty, and gallery owners. Drink excessively. Make crude remarks about world affairs. Dress the part. Kilts, unnatural hairstyles, vinyl clothing, or a fashion sense derailed in the 1920s or 30s is highly suggested. If you wear glasses, make them cat's eyes or hornrims. The key word here is INTERESTING. Be that. Your art is garbage, but it will be bought for the sake of keeping you around. Everybody loves a clown. You are now a phony, insufferably haughty, abstract artist. With money. And you sicken me. Step Four: Drop out. I said you would survive art school. I said nothing about finishing it. Find a reason to become disgusted with school. It doesn't have to be a big one. You can do the work and make it big. Maybe your fifteen-foot-long canvas splashed with bile-yellow car paint was rejected from the student show because the curator couldn't get it through the door. That's more than enough. Use your imagination, for God's sake. The offense needn't be real. Throw a tantrum. Make it a blowout. Get unendurably drunk, just really loaded, and go apeshit on school property. Scream about being misunderstood, or taken for granted. Break something. Break lots of things. Break other people. Break yourself. Cutting or injuring yourself is a big, big plus. Try to spill some blood. Finally, tear out of the building or off the campus is a storm of profanity. Never come back. The next day, tell everyone you know that you flirted with suicide, and that the experience was "your soul's darkest hour." They will believe you. They will eat your shit up. The resulting attention should translate into a significant spike in the sales of your worthless paintings. You are now a lying, irrational, phony, insufferably haughty abstract artist with lots and lots of money. And you have survived art school.
HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL ARTIST Step One: Become an abstractionist. Art school isn't about expression. It isn't about self-exploration. You will have to accept that art schools exist to advance an agenda. That agenda? Abstract Expressionism. Abstract Expressionism is now your style of choice. Congratulations. You are clearly a genius. It's time to practice your art. Buy lots of canvas, reams and reams of canvas, and lay it flat against the floor of your studio. Buy buckets of house paint, preferably clashing colors. Whip it around the canvas. Do it with your eyes closed, because that's obviously the best way. Drink Jim Beam while you paint. Stomp around the canvas in your fashionable, fashionable boots. Strip bare-ass naked, roll around in the paint. Nauseate yourself on the vapors, and spit up on your masterpiece-in-progress. So pretty. When you've finished, give it a title. Pick something nonsensical. Gloomy emotions are good. "Envy." "Inhumanity." "Despair." Gloomy equals deep. If you can't be interesting, being depressed is the next best thing, isn't it? I don't give a crap about how you feel, but someone else just might. You never know. Repeat this process several times a week, until you can finish an entire bottle of booze and an entire painting in a single night. You are now an abstract artist. This is an important step. I'll bet you knew that. So smart. "Kitsch" and "Greenburgian" are now your two favorite words. Anything that is not Abstract is Kitsch, and anything that is Abstract is Greenburgian. Memorize this. Survey any painting, sculpture or installation with a recognizable depiction of a person, place, or thing with detached condescension and poorly-masked disgust. These people have no imagination. By learning to draw before attempting fine art, they have interrupted the process of pure creation. They do not deserve your respect. They are Kitsch. Greenburgian Abstractionists are your soul brothers. Seek them out, and win their friendship by making snide remarks about the stupidity of the public, the annoyance of art drawn from life, and the ignorance of artists who are foolish enough to learn to depict the human form. Speak of Jackson Pollack, Willem DeKooning and Mark Rothko with worshipful tears glistening in your upturned eyes, taking frequent breaks to compose yourself in between bursts of praise. When finished, make rueful remarks about how the Abstractionist movement was eventually "ruined." If asked to elaborate, look disbelievingly at your audience, and ask them if they've been in a gallery recently. Describe such art as "labored," "insincere," and any other subjective adjectives you can think of. You are now an insufferably haughty abstract artist Step Three: Cultivate an image. To survive art school, you will need a persona. No one gives a good God damn about how you paint, because everything you make looks fucking exactly like everything else all the other students there do. Will you be a Bad Boy? A Beatnik? An Art Punk? Decide. Choose something rare in the social circles you frequent, for the sake of "originality." Keep drinking. Develop a nutty, crazy, sociopathic personality. (The one you have now isn't good enough. I promise you that.) Be rude, sexist, eco-terroristic, clinically depressed, reckless. The sky's the limit, children. One restraint: try not to be prejudiced. Feel free to despise the opposite sex, but racism is gauche. It went out with Action Painting. You will look dated. And no, Jews don't count. Lucky you. If you happen to be female, take every opportunity to strip naked and photograph yourself in erotic, suggestive positions and situations. Claim you do it in the name of "empowerment." Claim it has nothing to do with your desperate need for attention. Claim the chocolate syrup and cherries dripping from your shaven genitals in the spread beaver shot are metaphors. Claim the nipple clamps are "decontextualized." Claim you are not another embarassment to the gender with nothing unique to say, appealling to the lowest common denominator. You're not a porn star, sweetheart. You're an artist. You're still drinking, aren't you? Clearly. Have another. Turn your new personality on in the presence of art dealers, art buyers, school alumni, faculty, and gallery owners. Drink excessively. Make crude remarks about world affairs. Dress the part. Kilts, unnatural hairstyles, vinyl clothing, or a fashion sense derailed in the 1920s or 30s is highly suggested. If you wear glasses, make them cat's eyes or hornrims. The key word here is INTERESTING. Be that. Your art is garbage, but it will be bought for the sake of keeping you around. Everybody loves a clown. You are now a phony, insufferably haughty, abstract artist. With money. And you sicken me. Step Four: Drop out. I said you would survive art school. I said nothing about finishing it. Find a reason to become disgusted with school. It doesn't have to be a big one. You can do the work and make it big. Maybe your fifteen-foot-long canvas splashed with bile-yellow car paint was rejected from the student show because the curator couldn't get it through the door. That's more than enough. Use your imagination, for God's sake. The offense needn't be real. Throw a tantrum. Make it a blowout. Get unendurably drunk, just really loaded, and go apeshit on school property. Scream about being misunderstood, or taken for granted. Break something. Break lots of things. Break other people. Break yourself. Cutting or injuring yourself is a big, big plus. Try to spill some blood. Finally, tear out of the building or off the campus is a storm of profanity. Never come back. The next day, tell everyone you know that you flirted with suicide, and that the experience was "your soul's darkest hour." They will believe you. They will eat your shit up. The resulting attention should translate into a significant spike in the sales of your worthless paintings. You are now a lying, irrational, phony, insufferably haughty abstract artist with lots and lots of money. And you have survived art school.
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